It can be common for people with overcontrolled personality types to also be perfectionists. Overcontrol and Perfectionism have long been associated with superior performance and meticulous attention to detail. What appears to be high standards and striving for excellence that can often lead to success, may also foster self-defeating thoughts and behaviors as well as have a negative impact on your wellbeing and your relationships. Together we can work to develop skills based in flexibility, openness, and connection.

“The courage to be vulnerable is not about winning or losing. It’s about the courage to show up when you can’t predict or control the outcome.” -Brene Brown

Perfectionism

Is there such a thing as perfect? The internal pressures that we can put on ourselves to be perfect can be overwhelming and may manifest as self-criticism, invalidation, and creating an unattainable standard of success that is virtually impossible to meet. This relentless quest for flawlessness can take a heavy toll on your well-being with heightened levels of stress, anxiety, and even depression. Individuals who perpetually strive for perfection often do so driven by feelings of wanting to avoid criticism, feelings of inadequacy, or a fear of failure. People often describe:

  • Challenges engaging in a task unless they know how they can do it perfectly

  • Unable to see tasks as finished until the result is perfect to their standards

  • Procrastination

  • Hyper-detailed focused

  • Overly cautious behavior

  • Rigid thinking/behaving

  • High social comparisons

Together we will work to develop a healthier and more balanced perspective through coping strategies and practical tools to enhance self compassion as well as cultivate a reframing of self-defeating thoughts. We will work with your critical internal dialogue to explore the root causes of your perfectionistic tendencies. You will have encouraged opportunities to explore the different aspects of how your perfectionism is linked to your thoughts and behaviors to gain a deeper understanding about how you want to thrive in your life.

Overcontrol

Overcontrolled individuals are born with a biotemperament that is made up of three distinctive sets of characteristics: high threat sensitivity, high inhibitory control, high attention to detail. People with these overcontrol characteristics spend considerable time masking negative emotions and adjusting their presentation to appear ok even when they are experiencing extreme feelings. Clients often have the ability to delay gratification, follow the rules, value accuracy, and inhibit problematic behaviors. When these Overcontrolled traits become overemphasized, it can be challenging and people describe feeling:

  • Social isolation

  • Aversion to novel experiences

  • Social anxiety

  • Loneliness

  • Strong need for order

  • Focus on right and wrong

  • Difficulty expressive/showing emotions

Through collaboration, we will engage in a skills-based process to soften and let go of the need to control in order to improve your social connections and emotional well-being. We will look to identify and challenge rigid thinking patterns, develop greater awareness of your emotions, lean into new experiences and learning, be more direct in communication and problem-solving, and create more openness by being able to express yourself in a healthy and meaningful way.